Word came through in a letter,
one of us changing our minds.
You won't need to guess who
because I usually do
not send letters to me that are mine...
This pair of wing's worn and rusted
From too many years by my side
They can carry me, swear to be sturdy and strong
But see, turning them on still means goodbye.
This is so hard, the back in forth of feeling fine and then just missing you. Missing that. Missing something that really did mean the world to me for so long. You gave me back something I thought I'd never have again. And I know that everything you said was true, and I probably should have realized that a long time ago. But I guess I can't help being optimistic, always believing that things would change with time. It's just in my nature, and it always will be. I will love totally and completely, I will put everything into the next love, just as I did in this one. Maybe it will run its course. & Maybe I'll find myself somewhere down the road in some different apartment with another glass of wine, reflecting again. But I won't regret it, just as I don't regret this. You respected me enough not to let me do that anymore. I am not angry, I do not blame you. It's just a matter of a love I can't carry anymore. And the realization that I should never have tried to carry it alone.
That said: I'm hurting.
My heart is not quite mine again.
Right now it's a little lost:
in starry nights and camping trips,
in Dave, in Ingrid,
in DC hotel rooms and dance floors,
in the capital building, the white house
at a costume party, in a parasail,
& city hall (or just across the street where it won't fly...)
in shower songs, in little movies
in picnics and presents, kittens and peasants
on a rollercoaster, in a scary movie,
in one tree hill & sports I'll never learn
in that feeling that made my love burn.
in an apple orchard, in laughter,
in not working towards a happily ever after
but a happy here and now.
I'll just find that ever after a little later.
& guess I've just got some livin' to do first.
one of us changing our minds.
You won't need to guess who
because I usually do
not send letters to me that are mine...
This pair of wing's worn and rusted
From too many years by my side
They can carry me, swear to be sturdy and strong
But see, turning them on still means goodbye.
This is so hard, the back in forth of feeling fine and then just missing you. Missing that. Missing something that really did mean the world to me for so long. You gave me back something I thought I'd never have again. And I know that everything you said was true, and I probably should have realized that a long time ago. But I guess I can't help being optimistic, always believing that things would change with time. It's just in my nature, and it always will be. I will love totally and completely, I will put everything into the next love, just as I did in this one. Maybe it will run its course. & Maybe I'll find myself somewhere down the road in some different apartment with another glass of wine, reflecting again. But I won't regret it, just as I don't regret this. You respected me enough not to let me do that anymore. I am not angry, I do not blame you. It's just a matter of a love I can't carry anymore. And the realization that I should never have tried to carry it alone.
That said: I'm hurting.
My heart is not quite mine again.
Right now it's a little lost:
in starry nights and camping trips,
in Dave, in Ingrid,
in DC hotel rooms and dance floors,
in the capital building, the white house
at a costume party, in a parasail,
& city hall (or just across the street where it won't fly...)
in shower songs, in little movies
in picnics and presents, kittens and peasants
on a rollercoaster, in a scary movie,
in one tree hill & sports I'll never learn
in that feeling that made my love burn.
in an apple orchard, in laughter,
in not working towards a happily ever after
but a happy here and now.
I'll just find that ever after a little later.
& guess I've just got some livin' to do first.
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