I know it's been forever...

but this is just a teaser blog. I just love this too much not to share it.


On a different note...my girlfriend rocks. And drops trout. Teehehe.

the other side of "Someday".

Myyyy goodness.

Life took off running, but I think I tripped at the starting line or something. TYPICAL LAUREN.

Am I really graduating in May? Seriously, am I talking to advisers about the GREs and the Praxis and Grad school applications? You must have the wrong girl. I'm no where near ready to be a real person.

So I guess I'll just have to live it up while it lasts =D

Life's pulling me in about a thousand different directions right now.

I'm becoming more and more aware of how over-committed I am. I always do this to myself, I just get so excited about so many things and I just... I want to do them all. So I do. I just end up having one or two (or three...or four...or five...) breakdowns along the way. I expect my first in about three weeks. Prepare yourselves.

Good thing I'm surrounded by the world's most wonderful people <3

Dear friends, you are my Parachute.



You give me the strength to keep the negativity out of my life. To surround myself with people who truly care about each other. And what's more, you've taught me that I'm not a bad person for doing so, despite what those nasty nay-sayers may say!

Hm, that last line was...incredibly poetic. Just call me Dr. Seuss!

I know it's only been two days, but I sincerely miss your presence in my life. I hate not being able to text you when something ridiculous happens. It feels unnatural to see you on campus and not say hi. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad. I know it wasn't anything I did, it's just one of those things. I understand, and I respect you for doing what you need to do. I just wish it didn't have to happen, is all.

I MISS BABIES! OMG. Why doesn't someone just rent them out? Like seriously. Some baby snuggling right now would be the best possible stress reliever. Thank God for Sundays in the church nursery! Teehehe, that was unintentionally ironic. Or was it?

I'm not sure, I'm sleep deprived and goofy. Probably shouldn't be writing. Today my dance teacher made a joke about lactose-intolerance and I was gone for a good ten minutes. Ah well, I've come this far, no turning back now!

Peace, Love & ZOMG our new Feminist Blog launching MONDAY!

I'm happy.

Inexplicably, undeniably happy.

I'm so blessed to live near the ocean, blessed that my family is happy and healthy, blessed to have the best friends on earth. I never want to lose sight of that again.

a thousand words

Music reminds me that I am not the first person to have had their heart broken (or for that matter: to fall in love, break a heart, get angry, be sad, etc.). Which is a good thing in a morbid, schaudenfreude kind of way... but it's also empowering. These artists had their hearts broken & lived to tell the tale.

& The tale is the important part, right?

So for WEEKS I've been searching for my camera cord so I could upload the steadily growing multitude of pictures of past events. Today, I found it. BUT! Lo and behold, my camera is now MIA. Ohhh me oh my, life can be so puzzling.

My unemployed status has left me with countless financial stressors... however! It's also presented me with the opportunity to do so many of the things on my "when I have the time..." list. Huzzah! A silver lining.

I just finished The Help by Kathryn Stockett, and absolutely adored it.

I was honestly quite sad to finish it, it was like saying goodbye to friends I knew I might never see again. But I'd honestly recommend it to anyone, it's light hearted enough to be a beach read, but it's beautifully written and has a heart to keep the reader from feeling as though she's slipping into a fluffy mush of useless literature.

It is birthday season! My brother, cousin and my friend Nina all have birthdays this week & Ekat's is on Monday. Tina and Leme both had birthdays last week, so I've had lots of fun baking. Tina's birthday involved a trip to a family friend's house where we enjoyed cake and ice cream in a room filled with kids running around and adults laughing and smashing cake in each other's faces. My house is going to be that house.

I've been able to sit on sooo many babies lately. Getting paid to do something I love so much-whether it's in the church nursery, teaching sunday school, babysitting or whatever-feels like a crime. My secret: Thanks for the money, I really need it.. but I'd do this for free <3.

I've also been pet-sitting a lot, which I know is God's little way of telling me to cheer up and walk dogs. It's also an expert-level crash course in poop-scooping. But, now that I think about it... so is babysitting.

Additionally, I've spent many a blissful hour on the beach this week. I'm getting pretty tan, too... so I suppose there are definitely upsides to unemployment. Er, rather just quite sporadic employment.

It's been a blessing to be so busy without really doing anything at all. & On that note, I'm off to the Funny Bone.

Good Evening.

[the people in my life] are the harmony to my heartbeat, baby.

"Hey Mom, can you help me remember this phone number: _ _ _-8580"
"Sure! *chants* _ _ _-8150. _ _ _-8050."
"Mom... you realize you're not even close."
"Really? Whoops! *Continues to chant up the stairs* _ _ _-8080. _ _ _-8015."

I tell ya what, I don't think anyone will ever really understand me 'til they meet my momma.

Ah sweet Maymester/Summertime.

Fave new summer artist: Sally Seltman.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126977987&sc=emaf

I got a scholarship yesterday (which came complete with a giant laundry basket of groceries, school supplies, a neat watch & other fun things like soap!) & came home for the ceremony. Since then I've just been blessed with the fabulous opportunity to hang out with my fambam, of whom I'm so terribly fond.

PLUS! I got to see the fabulous and talented EMILY ARNOLDDD! & I got to see Sara and James too, which was awesome. It's been so long. I can't believe that I'm old enough to have married friends..guh. Anyway, Emweee and I watched a lot of SVU and I forced her into becoming a Next to Normal fan. It's a fever, spreading like wildfire.

& Yeah. You are probably next.

Mommy and I DVR'd Grey's Anatomy last night & we watched it together this morning. MAN I love Callie and Arizona together. And OH MY SWEET BABY JESUS that was an INTENSE episode! And beautifully directed, too. My mom and I talked about the superb nature of Bailey's performance when she found out that the elevators were off? Ya with me? I'm trying not to spoil anything for anyone who may not have seen it yet... but watch it. Cause it's AMAZING.
Then we went to the beach with aunt lori-loo and anna banana, which was a good time. I met some cute puppies & I'm looking forward to going to visit my cousin at her new job & being SUPER OBNOXIOUS. Yippeeskips.

& tonight I went to the club to see Jamie Kennedy with my high school best friend/elphie/other half.

Do you ever look at your life and honestly NOT REMEMBER why you stopped talking to someone? I know it happened, and I know I felt strongly about it at the time, but it seems so silly to me now. Especially someone who meant so much to me, someone who knew me as well as you did, elph. I'm really excited to have you as a friend again, and I guess that's all part of growing up. People come in and out of your life when you least expect it, but always just when you need them.

But hey, if the cast of characters were always the same, the sitcom that is my life would've been cancelled long ago,

[Which brings the "Metaphors Used" tally in this blog up to: 1.]

& it's quote time:

Appropriately:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss

my my, miss american pie.

Ohh my, what a beautiful day for some good ol' fashioned strawberry pickin'. I abide by the same strawberry-picking strategy that I did when I was about four: One for the bucket, one for my mouth. I'm pretty sure I'm made of strawberries right now... and probably a little dirt, too. Whoops. Well, because we did such a good job pickin', the lady gave us stickers too! In combination with the amazing food we ate at Greekfest, today's been a monumental success. I got to spend the day with my best friend and my brothers. I adore my family and friends & I adore my brother's girlfriend. She's a perfect fit & Cameron's really set the bar high when it comes to significant others hangin' around the Granger clan.

That really got me thinking. It's been almost four years since I had that head over heels falling for someone sensation. I want nothing more than to love someone who fits in here. I want to be crazy about someone, doesn't everyone? & All the sudden, I got to wondering if I'd ever feel that way about anyone again.

So I did what every strong, independent woman with a good head on her shoulders does: I whined to my friends.

But see, this is where the whole having friends who rock thing comes into play. When I told a particularly wonderful friend that I worried I'd never find that person, he told me that everyone has these moods and that it's important to remember that these feelings are temporary. He told me I have to trust God that he's got someone special waiting for me.

I really don't know how I ended up surrounded by such wonderful people who are twenty going on eighty, but I sure am thankful.

So anyway, I'm gonna go count my blessings and eat my berries.

Bonne soir, mes amis!

Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion!

It's summer & I'm thrilled.

My skeleton was sick of winter. Now it's ALL SUNSHINE ALL THE TIME.. with the occasional thunderstorm which is also okay by me.

I went to Myrtle Beach earlier this week with Student Ambassadors & it was pretty flippin' amazing. I just wish I could have stayed longer! But Ah, c'est la vie. I need to get on this employment thing. Hopefully some of these applications I put in will come to fruition, cause I actually enjoy eating & I'd prefer to keep doing it throughout maymester.

I'm watching Steel Magnolias & falling in love with it again and again as I do every time I watch it. "Honey, there's so much static cling in this room, I'm pickin' up everything except boys and money." Ahh yes, I loves me some sassy, strong southern women.

Ah, sweet summertime. In addition to windows down, music blasting, half-price frappucinos & lunch al fresco, summertime also means that my heart can keep beating cause it's time for the return of So You Think You Can Dance!

Some favorites from summers past:

This one.
This one.
And this one.

AHHHH I can't wait to see what Mia, Nappy Tabs, Tyce, & Travis have in store for us this summaahhhh HEYYOOOO!

What a curious sensation. I have this week to putter around in Virginia Beach & then back to Hburggg for what I anticipate to be the best maymester JMaddy's ever seen.



It's nice to have my sanity back, at least to a certain degree. Just a sidenote: If you really meant it, it's a compliment to be your only regret. But I'd have settled just to be your only.

But hey, that's life. And now the world's our oyster, kittens!

"Birds & bees and songs like these cause we want what we want and it's natural baby."

i'm very much aware

& I'll try not to rely, try not to rely on the perfect line.
And I see no boundaries except for the ones I'm in.
& I don't expect you to overcome them, for that's my job description.

Look at this and try not to smile.

Life's dandy. I'm gonna work my butt off for finals, gonna get me some baller grades AND THEN answer the ocean that's been callin' my name since last summer. I can't wait. I'm currently restraining myself from spouting out a few paragraphs of cliche prose inspired by the ocean, suffice it to say that I neeeeddd the beach, mmkayy?

I wish everyone were open-minded. Believe in something. Yes, believe. But please let's live and let live. Let's make this world a better place for our having lived in it. Study everything. Form educated opinions and share them respectfully with each other. Don't use your beliefs as weapons with which to injure other people. Just don't. Try a smile instead.

You're on my list. Don't cross that line.

Alrightyroo. Time to get down & dirty on this paper.

TALLYYYHOOOOO!

been there, done that.

La Roux - Bullet Proof from serkan söğüt on Vimeo.

I've been on a pretty constant Laroux binge for three days now. Thank you sooooo much to my not-so-secret secret french drawer buddy for leaving me that cd.

I just got home from Relay for Life. Man there are some really strong people on this green earth. I have never been so empowered as to see people who have BEAT CANCER successfully complete that survivor's lap.

Some day, some where, someone is going to find the cure. & The sooner, the better.

Also, MAN I have missed Glee. "I would have gotten you one, but... I don't like you." Haha, it's like being reunited with friends I haven't seen in a few months. Lea Michele is so gorgeous... SO GORGEOUS.



Additionally, Leme-my best friend from high school-has been here this weekend. In this constantly spinning, ever-changing world, it's awesome to know that some things never change <3

I love being a college student, I really do. I want to take advantage of every opportunity, because it'll never happen again.

this time baby, i'll be bullet proof.

"I want that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of thing."

But in the mean time, I dig my life. I'm so wonderfully content with these incredible people around. Like really, I don't know what I'd do without a Spike to come home to. Or a best friend to listen while I obsess over the same situation a thousand times, and to act like it's not the thousandth time she's given me the same advice. Or even just a classmate/person waiting in line for poptarts/person that tripped & laughed with me about it, everyone has an impact. Different people now all fill different roles in my life, it feels so much more secure that way. I'm not carrying my happiness eggs all in one basket anymore because, collectively, they make me whole.

Ha, happiness eggs.



In other news, I'm excited to be dancing again. In fact, next semester shows a lot of promise in terms creativity. Ya know, come to think of it, so does this semester...

Being a SMAD major is a lot of fun. I definitely don't regret these classes/skills I'm learning, despite the fact that they won't be uber necessary for my teaching career, it's still really cool to be able to learn them. I'm going to have the sweetest "End of the Year" videos in the whole 4th grade, heyoooo.

So Springfest was this weekend... & if you haven't heard, you've been living under a rock. What actually stinks is that from what I hear, most of the people causing the riots were NOT JMU students. It's just really unfortunate, because it makes us look bad. Of the 35 arrests made, apparently only 5 were students here... but it still makes fielding tour questions SUPER TENSE. How do you explain a party that ends in the swat team, police dogs and tear gas to prospective students and their parents?

Other than calling it a giant success, of course...

JUSSTTTTT KIDDINNGGGG!

Ahh. I'm so strangely content right at this moment, which is weird considering I've been a self-proclaimed whiner all day long. The birds outside my window began tweeting at 2am... I did not sleep well. Haha, instead I watched Buffy and tried my darndest to study for the test & quiz that I had today... whompp.

Anywho, tomorrow looks brighter. Tomorrow always does!


Snails see the benefits, the beauty in every inch of life...

I am in no rush, life goes by quickly enough as it is. I'm just enjoying everything & constantly learning.

Whatever it is you think you are, you aren't.

I have amazing friends. I can't stress this enough.

It's ironic that being angry at someone generally takes more of a toll on you than it does on that person who made you angry.

& even more ironic that human nature clings to it. Why is it so hard to let anger go? Is it really that attractive? What positive purpose does it serve in your life?

I think it's because when you peel back the anger, you're left with pain. & that's rough. Pain is a lot harder to deal with than anger. I don't know what the answer is, but I can promise that the exploration of your pain gives you a lotttt of insight into yourself.

To me, that's valuable. To me it's worth it. & you'll probably find out that you're a whole lot stronger than you ever suspected. And then the next time you get hurt, it won't hurt less, but you'll be better prepared to handle it because you'll have given yourself a little "self toolkit".

My tool kit is actually more of a fannypack. Neon. It's the sexiest toolkit you've ever seen.

Speaking of sexy things,

I went to Take the Pulse last night & was introduced to the awesome acoustic artist OWEN.

Check it out, I highly recommend him. All of his stuff sounds very similar, but that's okay because I love the way it sounds, haha. His voice is like a story book & he's really amazing on guitar.

Spring Preview Days are going on now at JMU & man OHH man, my life's been tourtastic lately. BIG HUGE MONDO tour groups. But it's cool, I really love talking about JMU & with the weather being as beautiful as it has been, it's a very easy sell.

Have a beautiful tuesday, everyone.

Starting Now.

Ingrid, I love you.

Life's been insane in a beautiful way. I think I'm a temporary hedonist, I've been choosing time with friends over schoolwork (and over pretty much everything else...), but I'm really okay with it. You would be, too, if you'd seen how fantastic these people I surround myself with can be! It's like their fabulosity is coming out of the woodworks, as if I weren't already in awe of their fantastic nature.

I think the thing about having a dark period in your life is that it makes the light so bright, so beautiful. I'm so pleasantly peaceful. I appreciate everything and everyone around me. & It doesn't hurt that there are birthdays left and right

A Sidenote: Sometime in my life, I want to be the Irene Adler to someone's Sherlock Holmes.

Also, in the past month I got the opportunity to go to Mississippi for the SA convention:

& to the Big Apple with the BFF

DAMN we're sexy on a foreverlong sketchbus ride to Chinatown.

& to the Generation Equality Concert at University Richmond... which I have no graphic for. But suffice it to say that it was an eye-opening experience.

I also go to go see the Lady Dukes play in their first NCAA game EVERR.

HEARTBREAK.

Buttttttt the pain of that experience was combatted with a FABULOUS Ingrid Michaelson concert.. ANDDD we got to meet her.

I plotzed.

This week has been wonderfully busy & I expect life to continue this way for quite a while. But then again, life is always about the unexpected, eh?

Trust is like a mirror

you can fix it once it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection.

Telephone Video.

Watch it. Love it.

Oscars Night

Who are you wearing?

Well actually I'm wearing sweatpants from the JMU bookstore accessorized with a fabulous bowl of Bruster's Chocolate Raspberry Truffle.

AHH Spring break. It's beautiful.

It's spring! & in our house, that means smoothies.

Mangos, blueberries, watermelon cantelope, pineapples & bananas, to be exact!

Thus, filled with all of the fruit-induced energy, my brother & cousin headed into the woods to find a log to carve into a tiki man. But not just any log, Oh no. This log was about a half mile into the woods and probably thirty feet long. Apparently This adventure turned into 4 hours of the two boys, Clara the golden retriever/explorer & a canoe. They returned about 3 hours later with a frog lawn ornament.

Aunt Lori & I then decided that we'd just buy them a 1/2 price tiki man from Pier One. Shockingly, there does not seem to be much a market for them.


Have I mentioned that I love my family?

It's sunshine and smoothies, baby.

I'm finally feeling like myself again, thank baby jesus. I hope this stays. I like me, & not the toned-down, saddened version of me that has existed (with or without permission) for these past few months.

Ohh tomorrow.. I just can't wait for a lifetime of tomorrows.

Ohh, the places you'll go...

Hm, I like this a lot.

I love Stars. I have never seen so much snow. Wintry nights make me want to cuddle. I wish I had a dog. I don't know much about football. I have awesome, classy, caring friends. I need new socks.

No more snow, please.

I am growing weary of this life.
Is it time for me to go back to Ireland yet?

Loving you [ain't nothin like] cherry pie.

Ohh I have 28 4-foot high reasons to smile.
& it's just the beginning. It's amazing to watch a kid learn.

I'm so excited to do this for the rest of my life.

I like me. I like doing things on my own terms. I like my music, my dance moves, my movies and my thoughts... doesn't everyone like themselves? No one should be bothered by the idea of a "single" life because-let's face it-we all rock.

I'm slowly realizing that not every person that comes into your life has to be your one true forever love. Ohh surrreee, call me naive. But heyy, cut me some slack here. I fell in love at 17 (and hardddd), & teenagers are not known for being the most rational of age brackets. So I just thought that was how it was supposed to be. One second it's ducks in a city park & the next it's happily ever after, right? Wrong. Affection comes in all shapes and colors, and there is room in one's life for every kind of romance, just ask Gaga.

I suppose I am just a hopeless romantic. & not just because Disney has shoved 'true love' down my throat since I was five years old, but because I actually see it all around me. People fall in love every day. People love so much they write music, poetry and dance to avoid exploding with emotion.

I want that kind of love in my life again...

And just maybe I already have it. I suppose my conclusion is that I love myself & you should too. Love yourself, I mean. You can love me too, but that's not my point.

the best laid plans

All week I've been looking forward to some time away from myself. I wanted to go out and dance and sing lyrics that were probably wrong and be with my friends and just have fun.

So anyway, after finishing my commitments yesterday, I came home to change & WHABAM instant headache.

No... not headache. Migraine. Monstrous Butthead of a Migraine like I've never felt before.

So, I have to fight back, right? But see, the thing about a migraine being so close to your brain.. it robs you of your ability to thinkk. Scrambling for ideas, I load up on 400mg of ibuprofen paired with my regular migraine prescription Zomig. But my apartment is noisy... because it's a friday night & NORMAL PEOPLE are shaking off the week hanging out with their friends. Soo I retreat to the bathroom, unscrew the lightbulbs, light a candle, draw a bath & play some Enya... because Enya solves all problems, yes?

So there I am in the tub trying to comprehend Flora's Secret and desperately attempting to Deora Ar Ma Chroi... whatever that means. I give it a half hour before I realize that it isn't helping and that probably the only thing that will help is sleeping until I wake up without tiny men drilling giant holes into my brain.

I briefly consider napping in the bathtub, but then the unintended Virgin Suicides image pops into my head. Though with the pain as it was, I can't say I didn't consider drowning as a viable option.

Anyway, I blow out the candle and get into matching pajamas, regressing to childhood at an impossible speed. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I was whimpering by the time I climbed into bed. Still I'm hoping for a recovery because it's still before 10 so I'm hoping an hour nap can provide me a baptismal experience and release me renewed into the world & back to my regularly scheduled Friday night.

Cut to early Saturday morning and I'm wide awake of my own accord and absolutely ready to get into some shenanigans today! Who's with me?!







Oh.. but wait, it's not even 8am. Awesome.

A Very Sexy Problem

So I did laundry yesterday & my load of towels wasn't dry after a full cycle in the dryer. Muttering about the injustice and my need for dry, fluffy towels, I popped the suckers back in the dryer with a second sheet of bounce & went along my way.

But of course, the day busied itself into a tizzy & I failed to replace the towels to their home position on my towel rack.

Before I know it, morning comes. The birds chirp outside my window & my little alarm clock insists that it's time for a shower. I surround myself with bubbles and steam while rehearsing my new Celine Dion medley in time to get it ready for it's upcoming debut at a stoplight near you. And, as I put the finishing touches on 'My Heart Will Go On', I step out of the shower & reach out for a towel to dry myself off. But oh, hey... there aren't any towels in sight.

Perplexed, I think to myself "Well... this is a problem. A very naked problem. Should I run through my apartment in the nude? Who is even here? Did I hear any unfamiliar voices this morning? Would my roommates even be surprised to see nudity this early in the morning? Probably they'd think 'Oh, Lauren's naked again. Just another Wednesday...' ".

Anyway, I eventually convince myself that I have no choice. I have to streak the kitchen en route to the laundry room to fetch a towel. So I race to the laundry room, & though the surroundings are clear and not a person was witness to my fleeing naked body, I still feel a little thrill.

Conclusion: I think nudity is fantastic. Don't fear it.

I really should stop speaking.

I always speak too soon.

Some days you are the bug

& some days you are the windshield.

In the past 48 hours, my car has broken down on the highway in the snow at night more than an hour away from school & while waiting TWO HOURS for a tow truck, I got a nosebleed. I returned to an apartment with a mysterious odor akin to that of month old trash. Once that mystery was solved, I realized our heater was broken. & to top it all off, this morning I blew a fuse trying to dry my hairs & went to my first day of French looking a little like a french poodle. Awesome.

BUT! Things are absolutely looking up. My spirits are high & whether that is the good Lord's doing, or that of this amazing scented lotion is yet to be determined.

A thought: Timing.

Timing is everything, isn't it?
Ask any chocolate souffle. You must pull it out of the oven at precisely the right time to avoid under or-heaven forbid-OVER cooking it.

Matters of the heart are like chocolate souffles & cannot be planned, forced or rushed.

So don't try.

Harrisonburg bound come morning...

Ohh so bittersweet.

I'm sort of craving my little college bubble, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't full of mixed feelings.

There's a safety in my zipcode.

In addition to something petty and personal which I'll withhold, in the 23464 I'm surrounded by my family, and still so many of my closest friends live in VB. I like being close to the ocean. I like being somewhere guaranteed to be warm in a month. It's just so cold in the mountains...

Last semester I was blessed with a fascinating course list and manageable work load as the pairing for a lovely little personal breakdown. Regardless of my mental status, my GPA emerged unscathed.

This semester might not be so kind.

But perhaps a "vigorous academic schedule"-as my advisor would call it-will be a welcome distraction from my silly thoughts.

Well, stay tuned...

My new year's toast was better than yours.

What I'm trying to say...

According to my mom, I started speaking at nine months... nonsensically of course. But in full sentences that made complete sense to me: "Bird apple bye-bye go to park".

So, I kind of popped out of the womb speaking full sentences, and I guess I haven't really stopped talking since.

I don't know, I don't consider myself an anomaly in that respect... rather I find the concept of a quiet person quite curious. How can you have so many thoughts in your head and just lock them all in there? My little thoughts are little animals that need to be let out of their cages so as not to upset animal rights activists like last night's episode of numb3rs.

[I'm not entirely sure that that metaphor works, but you get what I mean, eh?]

I like to think that I don't speak of pointless things. There are people who really do speak endlessly about things that truly don't matter at all. & while it is my hope that I am not one of them, I do find myself always needing to talk, listen and just generally converse. How can you get to know someone, really know someone without listening to them speak?

& while speaking is rather important, it is essential to be heard. I think this is the hard part.

Stay with me here..

Okay so, even the most loquacious people may have a hard time saying what they mean, expressing themselves in a way that someone else can HEAR.

So how do we solve this problem?

We sing. We paint. We dance. We tattoo. We cry. We color. We scream. We shop.

Human beings express themselves in thousands of ways. If you want to get to know someone, discover their method of self expression.

And, for you quiet people out there, give us talkers a chance and please be patient. The fight is just as frustrating as hell, but what you get in the end is entirely worth it:

a connection.